A creature perched on a witch’s broomstick, mewling in wicked joy as it flies off into the night. A figure in the dark, its glowing yellow eyes slyly peering at you through the din. A feline whom you never want to cross—in many ways.

The black cat is often perceived as the harbinger of bad luck, making it one of the most iconic Halloween beasts. I realized this was the perfect opportunity to find out how we students at JP Stevens can avoid the little misfortunes we encounter in our everyday lives. Who else would know to avoid them but the black cat, the very symbol of bad luck?

For these reasons, I chose to interview the black cat. And I most certainly did not choose to interview it because I am deeply afraid of the other Halloween monsters. My courage is infinite.

I had assumed the cat would be completely unwilling to interact with humans like myself, much less reveal the deep secrets of misfortune. But as it turns out, the black cat did not need to be persuaded into partaking in an interview. This feline was intrigued by my offer, not used to people actively seeking it out. I can’t imagine why. And so, I found myself drinking milk with the black cat inside her cozy home: a witch’s den.

I started off by asking the black cat the basic question of how she curses people.

“Well, if I cross the street in front of you, you’ll automatically experience great misfortune,” she replied, licking her paw nonchalantly.

“And where do you usually appear?”

“Alleyways, sidewalks, wherever,” the cat responded. Wow. So JP kids should completely avoid walking outside to keep themselves from misfortune. This could be achievable if they only needed to avoid alleys, but avoiding sidewalks could be an inconvenience. JP kids would have to stay home every day. Maybe we could solve this by resuming virtual learning…

“You know,” the black cat continued, very casually, “I’m the familiar of a witch. If anyone has crossed her path or even annoyed her in some way, she’d curse them with many misfortunes.”

Not only do the students of JP have to avoid black cats by never venturing outside, but they also have to avoid angry witches? Still, perhaps this is also achievable. Witches generally travel by flying through the sky on their broomsticks. As long as the students of JP lock themselves inside and never look through their windows at the sky (or look outside at all), they’d be fine.

Completely. Fine.

They could distract themselves with their studies or something. Madness caused by being locked away from the outside world is no big deal anyway.

I somehow felt that all of the conclusions I’d made on my own were missing the truth, so I decided to let the cat out of the bag and directly ask the black cat what to do. “My classmates and I experience bad luck sometimes. We drop our binders and lose paperwork, miss out on the best drinks in the cafeteria, and make mistakes on tests. As the bringer of bad luck, surely you know how to prevent these misfortunes from happening?”

The black cat paused, then leaned in, whiskers twitching. “I’ll let you in on a secret. You don’t.” Seeing my confused expression, the cat elaborated. “You can’t. Even if you try your best to avoid me on the street, keep a rabbit’s foot in your pocket, and jump over all of the cracks on the sidewalk, you’re still not safe from bad luck.”

“Then there’s nothing we can do?”

“Well, I suppose you could still try and minimize the risks. You could start using the state-of-the-art zipper binder, reach the cafeteria early, and study for exams in advance. But things will go wrong. The zipper on your zipper binder might break off, the cafeteria might not even have the drink in stock the day you come in early, and you might forget to study an important section and only realize it on test day. Sometimes there’s nothing you can do.”

“I see.” While the black cat was essentially telling me that misfortune was unavoidable, her words were still comforting: everyone experiences doses of bad luck throughout their lives, regardless of what they do to prevent it. The students at JP are no exception.

“Well, that almost wraps up our interview,” I said, getting up from my chair. “I have just one more question for you.”

“What’s that?” The cat’s golden, oval eyes focused on me.

I gulped. “Have you cursed me?” The cat merely shrugged in response—but something in the way its eyes gleamed told me that I should probably be more careful walking home tonight. Still, as I went home, side-eyeing cars and walking around ladders, I thought about how bad luck wasn’t really something anyone could control. Instead of bemoaning my fate, maybe it was best to work on actually solving whatever issues misfortune presented.

That being said, at the end of our interview, I still gave the black cat my laser pointer as a peace offering. Sometimes, it’s just better to play it safe.