From the beginning of time, becoming a parent can definitely be considered one of the most pivotal moments in a person’s life. From changing diapers to the first day of school and eventually to graduation day, parents are meant to be there through it all to support their children and help them grow. Different cultures, peoples, and traditions have their own ‘rules’  for parents and their children; for many different cultures, parental respect is strictly emphasized. This belief is often emphasized during traditional discipline methods, which ranges from yelling and taking away a child’s property to corporal punishment in order to forcibly teach a child or teen a lesson for their long-term “well being”. Discipline is an easily debated topic in and outside homes. Conflicting ideas about discipline within a family can transform into disconnection between parents and children, which can lead to deep-rooted strain and generational trauma.

 However, in recent decades there has been a clear rise in the movements focused on ‘listening to children’ for their betterment. Gentle parenting, Montessori, and the rise of Supernanny all demonstrate a clear upward trend in society of people trying to decipher ways to discipline children outside the box of traditional discipline. These illustrations of  experimental ways of thinking are highly debated among children, teens, and parents, ranging from topics on their effectiveness to their practicality. Arguments on both sides present passionate but differing assertions, surprisingly one thing remaining constant through the debates: trying to find the best way to raise healthy and happy children in an unsafe world.

Gentle parenting is a style of parenting that excludes any physical discipline, instead utilizing techniques to make the child more self-aware of their effects on others. It focuses on developing independence, empathy, and confidence in children before using traditional disciplinary methods. For a lot of families this style of parenting works because it allows the child to feel heard and understood before feeling ‘wrong’ in their actions; this way, children can understand their bad behavior whilst simultaneously taking away shame from their actions. Many parents who utilize the style want to prevent any type of trauma or negative associations of authoritarian figures within their children.

  Alternatively, Montessori School is a type of school utilizing a hands-on learning style in order to build functioning members of society. Montessori education has existed since the 1900s and has since become extremely popular in America. It focuses on creating self starters, building independence, and emphasizing social smarts. Some parents take this style a step further by bringing it into the home to teach their children practical skills like cooking, cleaning, and helping around the house at ages as young as two years old. 

Many people oppose the effectiveness of gentle parenting and Montessori schooling; sometimes there isn’t a reason behind why a child may act a certain way, so others have stated that gentle parenting is a ‘soft’ technique that doesn’t actually work. Montessori often is highly criticized because of its free-range style; some believe that Montessori education is not reliable as it gives children too much freedom without the proper discipline. 

SuperNanny is an extremely popular show led by Joanne Frost, an English television personality and nanny. SuperNanny centers around Joanne the nanny traveling the country to teach parents how to discipline their children. This show was created during the early 2000s, and emphasized a type of parenting with levels of discipline integrated with gentle parenting. The SuperNanny show experiences criticism from both sides for her varied techniques. Her implications of things like the ‘naughty corner’ have led to gentle parents claiming that it causes children to grow up believing that they are monsters just by that label. Other parents who use traditional discipline believe that badly behaved children cannot simply be reformed by placing them in a corner for under ten minutes. In all the debates, one thing remains true: SuperNanny was the first time that parents understood that they were not alone. They saw and continue to see hundreds of other parents also struggling to discipline their children while maintaining a good relationship with them too, which motivates many families to keep trying. 

With many different ways to parent children available, it is hard to decipher which way of parenting may prove to be effective. The importance of all of this lies in the proof that these parents are trying. The difference between a bad parent and a good parent is in the intention, and good parents just want what’s best for their children. Whether it be traditional discipline, gentle parenting, or a ‘naughty corner,’ these debating parents are simply just trying to figure out how to raise healthy and functioning members of society without compromising a healthy family dynamic.